I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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