can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
