sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
