Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
