Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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