I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize