Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
