Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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