dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
