Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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