I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
