I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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