Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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