Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Randomize
