he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
