so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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