You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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