Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
