you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
