Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
