doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
only if we run a train.
done.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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