so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
