so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
