Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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