I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
do herpes really smell.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
