420 ftw
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
