Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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