Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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