OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Please don't give away my fajitas
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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