but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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