I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
