This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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