I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
