I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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