I'm going to jail i love you
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What a dumb baby whore.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize