He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
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So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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