I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
