Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Are we still banned from the library?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
