Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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