You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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