i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
