Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
