Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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