i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
