1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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