Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
