hotel room ftw
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
