Where is the hickey?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You made out with two different species that night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
