Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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