Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
