He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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