I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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