i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
