How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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